Here I come World

So I’ve got some exciting news…….I’m going to France this Saturday! Yeah it’s short notice and I’m just as shocked as you are. However, it will be fun and I can’t wait to eat some good bread and cheese and to drink some delicious wine. What won’t be fun is that I have to actually work there and only get to spend 3 days in Lyon.

You see, I will be going out to eight different locations in the next 5 weeks to install our new product. This means I get to see the world, yet I have to work and will spend a limited amount of time at each site. Let me break my schedule down for you:

Sat. 1/19-Wed. 1/23 — Lyon, France

Wed. 1/23-Sun. 1/27 — San Diego, CA

Sun. 1/27-Wed. 1/30 — Seattle, WA

Wed. 1/30-Fri. 2/1 — St. Louis, Missouri

And then…..

Thurs. 2/7-Sun. 2/17 — Italy (Milan, Genoa and Sienna)

Sun. 2/17-Sat. 2/23 — Tel Aviv, Israel

So basically I will be all over the World in a span of 5 weeks. I’m just hoping I get some time off when I finally get home for good.

Oh, and I’ll be sure to take a lot of pictures so my blog is semi-exciting when I update.

I’m back…

You don’t have to thank me, I already know how much you appreciate me finally updating my blog. Really, stop. I mean I don’t even have anything exciting to post and I don’t want to get your hopes up.

 Anyways, I actually do have something to post about and it involves travel. I get to go back to San Diego for work, YAY! However, it’s only for 3 days and I’m immediately flying to Seattle for three days and then St. Louis for 3 more days. So, it’s exciting that I get to travel but it’s terribly shitty that I’m travelling to 3 different cities in a week and change. It also sucks that we’re installing the new product but I at least get to travel with someone this time. I’m predicting a horribly busy week with very little fun. Well, there will probably be some fun but not too much seeing how we are travelling for work.

Oh and because you were wondering, my new years down in Rhode Island was wonderful. I got to visit Miss Molly and we celebrated the New Year as well as her birthday. In fact, here are some pictures:

Okay, that’s enough pictures for you. Actually I’m really lazy and don’t feel like adding more.

That’s all I have for now. And you’re welcome!

Arrggghhhh…

I’m in a bad mood today and the worst thing someone can ask me when I’m in a bad mood is, “is everything okay?”

NO, obviously not shithead! 

If you can’t tell from the look on my face that everything isn’t okay then don’t fucking ask. I’ll talk when I feel like it. And just to give you an idea of my mood here is a picture of what I feel like doing to people:

Of course I’m the blue guy tearing the limbs from the poor unsuspecting bear and then shaking him violently upside down. I would like to think the bear had done something wrong but I’m sure he only asked me if I was okay.

After much thought this morning, I’ve narrowed my bad mood down to 4 specific causes:

1) I didn’t excercise yesterday after work

2) I ate chinese food for both lunch and dinner (can we say fat kid???)

3)I edited my friends term paper and it took me 2 hours! I can’t even think straight because of that

4)My room smells like fucking cigarette smoke. Fuck you downstairs neighbor!

Okay, now that I got that all out, I sort of feel better. However, I feel I have to perpetuate the bad mood or it will just go to waste.

Sometimes I am wicked awesome!

Just because I’m awesome I bought my fur-neice (or my sister’s dog) a pet Patriots jersey! Actually, I bought it because I love the Patriots and I think the dog should too. Plus, she looks really cute in it. Here is the proof:

And here is the side view where she looks a bit funny but the jersey distracts from her face:

Okay, she’s cute and I do actually like her and she better wear that jersey every day!

So, yes I’m awesome for getting Maddie a Patriots Jersey. However, I think the real reason I’m wicked awesome is that I won that Tedy Bruschi signed jersey swatch. I mean really, how many people have won autographed Patriots items??? Anyways, today was a prelude to Christmas morning because I recieved said item. Here are the wonderful pictures, in order of course:

That’s me receiving the gigantic package.

Taking it out of the box.

Unwrapping the wonderful item.

I didn’t know it was going to be that big! But I love it and can’t wait to hang it in my apartment. Oh, and don’t mind my hair. I didn’t put a lot of effort into it this morning.

I just don’t know…

This morning I had such a good topic to talk about on my blog and I forgot it. It seems to have escaped my head in the past hour. Oh well, I guess I’ll have to make some stuff up.

Um, well, I went on a bar crawl Saturday night in Hartford with my friend Gabbi and it was damn cold! I managed to not drink a lot which is a shocker because when I hang out with Gabbi we always get wasted. I have to admit though that I didn’t drink a lot because I had to drive home that night. So actually, I was being responsible! Now, Gabbi is a tall broad, she’s 5′10″, and she hangs out with some even taller guys. I was the shortest person there at 5′4″. I swear my neck hurts from looking up to talk to these people. The best part of the night was when three of the tallest guys (6′4″ and above) decided to dance around me. I don’t think they realized that nobody could see me in the middle of them so it looked like they were dancing very closely with each other. Also, in one of the crowded bars I was standing back-to-back with one of the guys and my butt fit perfectly under his butt. It was like we were meant to fit that way, just like a puzzle!

Yeah, I’m just not in the writing mood today. So, your loss.

Once a fat kid, always a fat kid.

I swear I have a sixth sense when it comes to food. Every time I walk to the break room to get more tea, there is some new and exciting food sitting on the table. Granted it is the holiday season and we are receiving gift baskets every day so my chances of coming across good food are better than any normal day. But still, I just know there is going to be good food, it’s my spidey-sense if you will.

You see, I love food. It’s quite ridiculous actually because I’m trying to eat healthier and eat smaller portions. That’s hard to do when you love food. And of course I love all the food that isn’t good for me, but I think everybody does, so I guess it’s okay??? My real weakness is chocolate and sugar. I go crazy when I’m near either of the two. I scarf down any and all pieces of chocolate in my eyesight. I actually want to be a fly on the wall so I can watch how ridiculous I look.
What I’m really getting at is, and this is hard to say, I’m a fat kid at heart. If I could just sit around and eat all day, I would. However, I don’t want to be a fat ass so I actually exercise daily and watch what I eat. It sucks some days and other days it seems I’m just exercising to balance out all the chocolate I ate. Yet, I’ve gotten used to it and won’t allow myself to just sit around.

I think that being a fat kid at heart has enabled me to have food ESP. It’s like I sense the food vibes, they become one with me. Oh and I guess it doesn’t hurt that I’m a super-smeller and usually smell things way before anybody else. Either way, I think I’ve found my special talent and of course it involves food.

Something wicked this way comes…

That’s right, it’s gonna snow. And it’s gonna snow hard. They’re predicting 6-10 inches of heavy snow starting around noon. I love when it snows, especially since our company just decided that we could go home after lunch. It’s like I’m back in school.

I just saw the first of the snowflakes! I should go by some hot cocoa and a fake fireplace for my apartment so I can go be cozy. Actually, I want to borrow Molly’s dog so he can lay by my feet as we stare at the fake fire.

I must do some work before I depart early. Enjoy your day!

Update: I hate people. Or more specifically, people who drive like assholes. Hello, you live in New England, it snows here! In fact, it snows a lot. This doesn’t give you permission to drive like an idiot. Just drive slow and be polite. Don’t run the red lights and block the intersections, other people want to get home just as much as you. This anger I’m feeling right now stems from the fact that it took me 2 hours to get home. 2 hours! On a normal day it takes me 10-15 minutes to get home and on a bad day it takes me 20. I guess I should be happy I made it home safely but I still think people need to get their heads out of their asses.

Long, funny post.

It occured to me that I start my blogs off strong but end them a little weak. They begin as if I’m going to post a long and funny entry and then I just stop, I cut myself off. I don’t know if this is because I’ve run out of relevent stuff to talk about or I just plain give up. I feel I’m depriving you the reader, so today I will write a long, extra funny blog!

Of course I could be imagining all of this, I’ve been known to have an overactive imagination and I do think too much. Also, when I think I get this really intense look upon my face which causes many people to ask me why I’m angry. I’m not angry and usually I’m not even thinking angry thoughts, my face muscles are just working overtime. However, when I am pissed off you will know it and be able to tell the difference between my thinking face and my angry face. My sister has told me on numerous occasions that I’m down right scary when I’m pissed. Cool, now I know why guys don’t approach me, I look like a constipated bitch.

Yeah, I just read all that I wrote and I am the most random person I know. I’m everywhere with my thoughts. But I think this is how I talk too. Right Molly?

I just want to mention Wes Welker, or Wes Wanker as my coworker so kindly called him, again because people are still searching for him and still reading my blog (those poor suckers). I guess I could just start spreading rumours about how I’m going to marry him and produce the most beautiful babies ever! I wish. But for our viewing pleasure, here he is:

Yes please!

And moving on.

After weeks of having virtually no social life, I’m suddenly in hot demand. Well, it’s just really family holiday parties, but still. I think I have an event every day of the weekend until Christmas. Good thing I don’t have to bring presents because I’d be extra broke. There is one special event I’m looking forward to and it has nothing to do with the holidays. I’m going on a bar crawl this Saturday night. I can imagine my mother is oh so proud of me. Oh and I’ll make sure to bring my camera so you can enjoy my drunkeness.

I think I’m done now, it’s been a long morning trying to actually work and write this blog. So I guess you won’t be getting a long blog. Oh well, I’m over it.

Ahh

Before we begin, let’s take a moment to admire the hotness that is Tom Brady:

Yes please!

Okay, now that that is out of the way I can ramble about nothing or you can go back to staring at Tom. Really, I don’t care if you don’t read further because I know how beautiful he is. In fact, he is my desktop at work and everyday we have eye sex. Well just imagined eye sex I suppose but it’s still great. But I digress.

First I’m going to talk about Wes Welker and how for the past few days people who search for him have been directed to my blog. I guess his stock is going up. I just feel bad for the people that find my blog and get no relevent information about Welker and have to read my ramblings instead. Works for me though.

 Moving on.

Things at work are still crazy; really, really, ridiculously crazy. My company would like to make another 3 million in profit before the year ends. That means with 12 working days left in December we need to earn roughly $250,000 a day by selling 2-3 of our products. Yeah, that’s not happening even though it would result in a nice bonus. Oh well.

I’m getting a new roommate, my coworker, and we’re planning on playing Guitar Hero 3 all the time. I’m talking every waking moment. This of course is hilarious for two reasons: 1) I don’t yet have the game and 2) I’m 24 and she’s 33. We’re getting a bit too old to be rocking out.

 Okay, back to work so my boss doesn’t think I’m a slacker.

I’m a winner…

…and not in that Special Olympics kind of way. I’ve actually won something which leads me to believe I am psychic but I’ll get to that in a moment.

Here is what I won: http://proshopcache.patriots.com/index.cfm?fa=browse.detail&pdid=0&pid=11096

That’s right, Tedy Bruschi’s autograph and all I had to do was buy something from the Patriots Proshop. They were doing an autograph a day giveaway and I happened to buy something during that time period. Woo hoo. And as you can see from the link, the item is worth $500 which means I’ve actually made $400 on my one purchase. Damn I’m good and I didn’t even have to try hard. I hope my luck continues because they’re giving away playoff tickets now and I’d much rather have those.

I’m going to go back to why winning this makes me think I’m psychic. A week or so ago I had a dream I won the lottery. I’ve had these dreams before but something set this dream a part from the others. It was the fact that my dream actually included the winning numbers. Never had my dreams been this specific before and with winning the autographed item I’m starting to think I should play those numbers in the lottery. Except, I might wait until the pot gets a bit bigger because in my dream I won 700 million dollars. I know the pot is very unlikely to get that high but the closer to that number the better my odds. And yes, I know this sounds ridiculous because it was just a dream and my odds of winning the lottery are slim to none but just humour me.