It’s the final countdown….

Really it isn’t but the song is in my head so I decided to make it my title. In fact, it has nothing to do with what I’m going to write about. Very decieving on my part.

At this present juncture I really only have two things to write about and I think they’re fairly funny. I could complain about work but I do enough of that at work so I’ll save you.  Here’s what I have:

Very recently something interesting was brought to my attention. It seems that when I’m arguing with someone my favorite comeback is “I’ll fart on you!” Okay I really only use that with my roommate Jill and the other day after saying this to her she said, “I think you really do want to fart on me.” I had to pause for a few minutes because did I really want to fart on her??

The answer was no, it’s rather repulsive to fart on someone but I did figure out why I say it. If I was to say “I’ll kick your ass,” she probably wouldn’t take me seriously and who knows if I could even kick her ass. However, the threat of farting on someone is a little more real. I mean, what’s going to stop me from parking my ass on her leg and letting one loose??? Nothing. And the best part is that it can happen at any time! Whenever I feel those gas pangs I can just walk up to her and let it fly. So let this be a warning to you, I can and will fart on you if provoked.

Because I’m so fashionable (not) I went out and bought a vest. Yes, a vest. I like it, it’s something different. I’ve worn it three times so far and have gotten a range of comments/compliments. For example, “it’s cute” and “it really shows off your hourglass figure” (yes, a guy said this). However, my favorite comment by far has been from my sarcastic but loveable coworker. Upon walking into work the other day, he looks me up and down and says “hey, the ’80’s called, they want their vest back.” I was slightly taken aback but it was damn funny, especially since he wears flannel shirts every day. Umm, hello, grunge is out and has been for 15 years or so.

Because I like you, here is a picture of me in the vest:

And in the great words of Miss Molly, “Who are you? You’re wearing a vest AND bangles???”